John Lennon Is back For World Peace and Domestic Abuse

In a world full of surprises and amid crisis John Lennon has decided to come back to life.

When asked by our foreign correspondent if he came back to see through in creating a world he depicted in his song "Imagine" he responded, "My plan is simple. To regain my possessions and New York apartments and make them into rentals for passive income until the market bounces back and then eventually sell them to corporations. Once that is done I will go to the middle east, I mean Russia, and justifiably cause harm for their women and children for my... I mean for world peace purposes."

In an official statement by his publicist, Thomas Danish, in concerns about his death, "John Lennon has made a full recovery and is doing better than ever... Oh and he would now like to be referred to as John Lemon. Not to be confused with the international rugby player for Wales Arthur Lemon. Thank you"